The 5 Stages of Loss & Signs a Loved One is Communicating With You

“The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living” Marcus Tullius Cicero


For me, there is nothing worse in life than losing someone you love and have loved whether for a season, a reason or a lifetime.  Their legacy remains in our hearts, their memories cherished to the ends of time.  One thing we all share in this lifetime is that life is not guaranteed to anyone.  Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone. If we knew the precise time a loved one would be taken from us, perhaps there are things we would do differently, words we would say, feelings we would express and actions we would do differently. Sadly we don’t, and this is why it is always vital to live each moment for the moment, to always be in a place of love, acceptance and forgiveness with each person you value because you just never know when your last moment with them will be, and make sure that when that moment comes, you carry no regrets for your actions, words and behaviours. Take the time to show people how much they mean to you, and show them how much you care because life is too short to do anything but radiate love towards everyone you hold dear to your heart. 

For me personally, I have had to say goodbye to many people I have lost to the other side and the reality is that dealing with loss never gets any easier. Some have left us unexpectedly where we haven’t had any time to prepare, and others, we have known they won’t be with us for much longer, and so have had a bit more time to prepare ourselves for when their time does come to leave our planet.  Either way, the loss of a loved one whether sudden or expected is still a life taken from us all too soon who we will miss dearly.

I have come to recognise that there are various stages to dealing with loss as we process the feelings, emotions, questions we keep asking ourselves and reliving the moments time and time again of the memories shared and created together. I have also learnt that our loved ones can and do communicate with us from the other side in various ways, sometimes carrying messages for us, and other times to let us know that they are okay and still with us in the spirit form as our souls are eternal. (We come to earth as a spirit reincarnating into a physical body, and when we depart our physical body which was the home to our spirit is left behind, and our soul / spirit goes back to the higher dimensions for a rest, and to prepare for the next mission on planet earth.)

CandleThe five stages of grief as I know it are:

♥ Denial and Isolation; Coming to terms with someone leaving your life is a challenge, and difficult to grasp. You can’t believe they have left you, and that you won’t be seeing them again this lifetime, not hearing their voice, being able to give them a hug, popping around for tea or dinner, meeting and socialising with them over celebrations and birthdays, etc. Life seems hopeless and unfair as you try to get through each passing day. The reality they have left you is too much to bear and you then go through a period of isolation where you need your own personal space to grieve, cry, process your thoughts and emotions, just be alone as you honour their life in a way that is meaningful to you.

♥ Anger and What if Stages; You become angry with life, with the universe, with people around you because this person was taken from you all too soon, and it shouldn’t have happened. Allow yourself to feel this anger and express it in a safe environment, the more you feel and express your anger, the more this anger dissipates, and so your healing process can truly begin. You begin to question your own actions and behaviours, what if I had done this, or that, what if I had been there more, or should have etc. You become angry as you process your own actions and behaviours towards this person and the situations that surrounded them leaving you. Know that it is okay to express yourself and how you feel, give yourself permission to let go and release any pent up emotions that need to be released, allow yourself forgiveness and give thanks for the times you were able to share together knowing they chose you to be a part of their life because they recognise in you a love that is unconditional.

♥ Depression; Our reality of missing our loved ones becomes too much to handle while we struggle to come to terms that we will never see them again. This forces us to become introvert and unsure how to express what we are feeling. Not wanting to burden others with what we are going through, we become separated from others and closed off, suppressing how we feel and going into a downward spiral of sadness, loss and grief. We become withdrawn from life as we feel empty and alone, wondering how we are able to move forward and cope and sometimes wishing it was us that was taken instead. The deep sense of sadness which knows no limits is a natural part of coming to terms, and as you acknowledge the sadness you feel, and work through the feelings, you gradually open the door for more healing to take place.

Acceptance; Coming to terms that your loved one is not actually coming back and accepting the reality of the loss of your loved ones. Being able to move forward one day at a time in a new reality that doesn’t involve them and accepting that life has changed, and you have changed. Some days are easier to deal with than others, and you do the best that you can with each passing day because you have learnt to live without them but it doesn’t make life any easier for you, it is just your coping mechanisms that get you through each moment because that’s all you are able to prepare for…each moment. We can never replace the ones we have lost, but it is important to continue to build long lasting relationships and friendships that are meaningful as this will help fill the void you are experiencing and inject a new form of happiness and fulfilment into your life. Give you that sense of belonging.

♥ Transformations; Very often when you lose someone you love dearly, during your process of coming to terms of the loss of your loved one, you begin to have a new appreciation for life and to really value life with a new awareness and consciousness. To not take it for granted, and you start to live life in a new way, a different way that enables you to grow and transform as you let go of the old you, and the rebirth of a renewed you takes place, stronger in yourself, stronger in life and stronger in love for you recognise that life is a gift to be lived and cherished, and to not take any of what you have for granted because as quickly as you have it, it can be taken away from you. A dance of celebration begins to unfold in your life, a celebration for those you have lost as you celebrate their memory and their life, and a celebration for what is to come in the future as you celebrate the gift of life every day, because every day you get to live a new day is indeed a gift.

DoveOver the passages of time, our loved ones will try to establish ways to communicate with us to let us know they have arrived safely to the other side.  If you are open to signs, you may recognise some of the following:

∞They may visit you in your dreams shortly after they have left you.
∞ They may leave little white feathers which have been strategically placed, or randomly placed.
∞ They love technology and may create havoc with yours incl your TV switching on or off by itself, your mobile phone randomly calling someone, flickering lights or regular blowing of a particular light bulb.
∞ You may find a penny and when you look at the year on the back could remind you of them for a specific reason.
∞ Very often there will be a scent that comes through the air of perfume, deodorant or floral or something else completely different that you will resonate with.
∞ You may notice a very slight drop in temperature in the room you are in, so mild that you almost feel you imagined it.
∞ If you have cats, they very often see what we can’t see, and they may become fixated on a particular spot in the room, and no matter how you try to distract them, their vision and gaze remains fixated on a particular place in the room.

Each of these mentioned above are gentle ways in which loved ones from the higher dimensions will reach out to you to let you know they are thinking of you, and still by your side. There are of course a number of other ways so be open to any and all possibilities.  Sometimes there will be messages for you to decode in your dreams from them or via a song you hear on the radio. When this happens, just ask them to let you know what the message is.

Counselling and healing are very effective ways to help you cope with the loss of a loved one, and to allow you to  come to terms with your life as you know it now.  It is a very gentle and sacred process unique to each of us .  Counselling and healing allows you to express yourself freely, helps you to work through each thought you are thinking, and gradually takes the weight off of your shoulders as each day that passes is a day for you to heal, to grow and to be nurtured. As you heal the many layers of grief, depression, sadness and loss, you allow more space in your life for new things to enter that will give you hope, trust, acceptance and freedom.  If you need to be in a safe space to help you work through life, loss and bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be then please do drop me a line

Liana Alexander Raye
Inspirational Centre of Living Hope


The Four Types of Soulmates Who Can Catalyse You


Many people believe that they have just one soulmate, and this person is the one they are destined to spend the rest of their life with.

What many of us are not aware of is that we don’t just have one soulmate, but many.  The fundamental reason for this is that our soul is eternal and lives on even after we pass over at the end of this life time.  We all belong to different soul groups or soul families, and within these soul groups are those we have shared previous lifetimes together.

In these past lives, we have made a contract, vow or promise to one another to re-incarnate in future lifetimes in order to help the other person grow in love, search for their universal truth, challenge them to overcome difficult life lessons to make them stronger, to help them learn the wisdom they need for their soul path, or to be in a relationship with them and so when this promise is made, a soul connection is then formed for future lifetimes. You have shared past lives with this person and made an agreement with the other person at a soul level which needs to be honoured and until this is honoured, you will keep re-incarnating in future lifetimes.

Soulmates can literally be anyone whose path has crossed with yours e.g.; your neighbour, your school teacher, a colleague, an enemy, a parent, friends, family, and lovers. Soulmates come into our lives for a reason, some meetings will be swift, and others over a period of time, and still others over your lifetime. 

When you cross paths with a soulmate, the energetic bond you share with that person on a soul level will trigger some type of feeling or emotion. This could be a sense of instantly knowing this person, and feeling as if you have known them a lifetime, despite only meeting, it could be an instant clash and dislike with the person, or alternatively the connection is just so comfortable and easy, you could literally meet someone where you talk for hours and hours with with them, and at the end of it, what seemed like a 5 minute conversation has resulted in the clock striking midnight with you parting ways and heading off to bed. Every soul connection that enters your life has the potential to really catalyse and transform you no matter how brief the meeting. Soulmate connections are life changing, and always for the better.  They are there to enhance you and your life in some way, shape or form.

There are four types of soulmates you may encounter in this lifetime: Hearts

  • The Friendship Soulmate – is the most common of soul connections and the connection tends to be a very easy connection. These are where you share similar interests, values, intellect and lifestyle, where you build fond memories and enjoy the many adventures of life together. Friendship Soulmates are there for you during the highs and lows of your life offering support, love, guidance and happy times.
  • The Teacher Soulmate / Karmic Soulmates come to us in the form of parents, lovers, acquaintances and friends. They are the ones who are here to teach us a lesson that will serve us in good stead for the future. Sometimes the connection can be difficult to handle, causing an emotional roller coaster ride for you. For example, if you are someone who lacks emotional resiliency and you have a soulmate / friendship who constantly makes you feel bad, brings you down, makes you believe you are not good enough, the lesson is in learning to build emotional resiliency so that you step into your power and step up to the challenge by standing up for yourself and not allowing them to bring you down.  Karmic / Teacher soulmate connections can be very challenging indeed, but they serve a purpose to encourage you to grow and honour yourself by speaking your truth.  Very often when you have overcome the lesson, your connection will end and you will part ways going in separate directions.
  • The Companion Soulmate – this is the most accepted and widely believed of soul connections. The connection is very harmonising, joyful, mutual and graceful and often built to last the lifetime. These are the soulmates who have agreed to share a long and loving relationship that is based on a foundation of unconditional love, respect, intimacy, open communication, commitment, and understanding of the other person. They recognise that it takes both of them to work through any difficult, challenging or conflicting times in their life, rolling with and navigating the journey of life together. They agree to build a life that is meaningful on every level of their being, growing together, learning together, loving together, overcoming together, and sharing the rivers of happiness, the mountains of endurance and the road to heaven with every step they take as one. 
  • The Twin Flame Connection – This connection, is the strongest and rarest of all connections. The reason for this is because this soul connection is literally the other half of your soul. (Not every Twin Flame will meet in this lifetime). We all have a masculine and feminine energy within us. Twin Flame connections are either the masculine or feminine half of your soul and were created so that we would always have a companion that is always a part of us energetically. However on earth, we are each whole in our own souls. When Twin Flames meet, the meeting is profound, unconditional and of oneness. Without judgement or blame, and total acceptance. A sense of returning home, of being complete, that sense of belonging as you unite as one. Twin Flames haven’t necessarily shared a past life together, typically when one has reincarnated on earth, the other has remained in the spiritual realms in the higher dimensions offering guidance, love and support for the one living in the physical. In the higher dimensions, you are married to each other for all time, and united as one.  On earth, when twin flames meet, it is because both are ready to join together in this lifetime, which is very often their last incarnation on earth to help the planet and humanity raise in consciousness and really make a difference to the lives of others. An incredible journey begins to unravel when you meet with your Twin Flame, first and foremost, you will be triggered on an emotional level, by the feminine part of the connection, who uncovers a lot of hidden emotions. It all comes down to you having to finally accept or let go of all life hardships that have been holding you back. Surrendering completely into the here and now. The male aspect will be forced to overcome mental and physical pain and through this unearthing of emotions from both the masculine and feminine energy you become stronger and more secure in yourselves. Twin Flame connections force you to face your emotions, and the dark sides off your soul for healing, growth and transformations.  As you are literally a mirror of your soul to your twin flame, you will both be triggered emotionally and mentally, pushing each others buttons, as you see elements off you in the other and recognise within you what the other has thereby pushing your boundaries, your comfort zones and forcing you to grow.  The connection of a Twin Flame is always based on unconditional love and acceptance of the other half, who is you and your soul and vice versa.  Twin Flames help you too uncover, heal and love all aspects of yourself unconditionally in a positive way, and when this happens you finally become free and break free from all life conditionings, hidden ego’s agendas and sabotages so that unconditional love becomes the foundation for which you build your life, as you look to join forces and help the planet and humanity raise in consciousness united.

Soulmate connections can be energetically, mentally and emotionally draining on you. If you are experiencing shutterstock_272986310
troublesome relationships with friends, family, children etc., then a Soul Contract Reading can help reveal the truth of what is happening in this relationship, while  Divine Healing can help you to release and break all vows, cords, contracts and promises that have been made in previous lifetimes.  Energetically we are all connected, and some connections are harder to let go off and break free from than others.  Most of what you are experiencing and processing can be as a result of your past life connections to this person.  If you feel you need to chat about anything specific please do drop me a line via my website, and I will be happy to chat about how we can help free you energetically from the ties that bind you. 

Liana Alexander Raye
Inspirational Centre of Living Hope